Mark and Grace Driscoll Sitting in a Tree...

Prepare to develop Diabetes 

because this is the sweetest still you will ever see. 

AMIRITE?!

Yes, they have double-deuced us by fist bumping while holding hands! 

(Squeee!)

These two have such an amazing witness, not only in their individual relationships with Christ, 

but also in their marriage.

This still is taken during a super cute giggle-fest from the Selfish Lovers and Servant Lovers sermon.

Don't let my use of the words 'cute' and 'giggle' fool you. 

The message is vital for a healthy marriage. 

A fist-bumping kind of marriage.  

What can say about this picture that isn't self-explanatory? 

My paint shop skills are at an all time low, 

but yet the pose is pretty wicked and makes up for my lack of creative skill.

Thanks Mark for being you and making some hilarious facial expressions when you preach.
(DISCLAIMER: I am a huge Driscoll supporter and this image is not a slight against him).
(Also, no animals were harmed in the making of that outfit).

I can't tell you what sermon this is from as I found the still in a google search. 

But I can bet that it wasn't from this one. 

I know this because cavemen didn't celebrate children- unless they were gagged and turning over a fire. 

A Message to the Seven Churches: Part Deux

I am hoping only two things will bring a smile to your face on this post.

Exhibit A:

I think it is safe to say that is the closest you will ever see Mark Driscoll to having jazz hands.

(I can't stress enough how much you need to click that hyperlink.)

Exhibit B:

Cute little piggy wiggy, who will one day make yummy little bacon wacon. 

So this little series is a pretty H-core (or 'haych'- core if you are British or a B-hole). Mark delves into the Book-o-Revelation

 and hits us all where it matters: 

The heart (or haych-eart if you are British- just kidding). 

Ch-ch-'Chan's!

I promise to leave Bowie out of the rest of this post. 

Okay, so because I am about  as consistent with this blog as airline mash potatoes. 

So why not mix it up for my first post in nearly two months?! (Family first, my sparsely populated readers!) 

I give you the Chan! 

The Fran Chan to be sure! 

I thought this still from his sermon was particularly effective as it appears he is using Jedi powers to choke out his congregation. ('The wages of sin is death!')

But for serial. 

I was majorly convicted by this sermon, and I think it is an important message for all 'who have ears'. 

Hello Kitties

The following still may offend young girls under 10, PETA, the entire country of Japan 

and Mariah Carey.

We (a quantifying term I use rather generously) have nothing against cats, so don't start reinforcing oppressive stereotypes like: all niche bloggers are ailurophobics.

We would have stuck a bunch of tiny popes in Pastor Mark's hands and googled
 'irrational fear of the pope',
but the Pope is just too darn cute.

Besides I wouldn't have found this freaky little youtube video if I had.

Show of hands for who thinks the creator of that video has a mustache and a uterus?  

2 Corinthians 11:1

I hope you will put up with a little of my foolishness; but you are already doing that.

Hang Glide Still Encore Performance:

Finishing his tour of 'Nam.



Marriage and Men: Hang Tight w/ Marky D.

Check out this sweet still. I was listening to this sermon with the the hubs when this gem fell into my line-o-vision. Pastor Mark is acting out hang gliding, but it really is a versatile pose.

Here it is 'au naturel'

Here he is sans Davy Crocket hat photobombing (again) a bluegrass band with his banjo.

To offset the previous image. I give you:

I'm funny.

Ephesians 5:25

Husbands,

love your wives,

just as Christ loved the church

and gave himself up

for her...

Jesus Love Us, This We Know

Having been 'raised in the church' I have witnessed my fair share of critics of the Bride if Christ, and even been amongst the kvetchers a time or  twenty-two  (albeit sometimes when a person is rolling on the floor and clucking like a chicken there is room for some heckling).

And this is not for those who see a problem and want to lovingly be part of the solution, but for those who think they are the solution.

Prayer

Many books have been written on the subject of prayer. There are many quotes which I could draw on which would sum up the need for prayer in our daily lives, but who better than that oft quoted musician/entrepreneur/minister (all terms which I use loosely) MC Hammer?
We got to pray just to make it today.
I guess it's true what they say: never doubt a man in hammer pants.
(I need an emoticon which conveys awkward confusion).

In the sermon 'Pray like Jesus' Mark not only highlights scripture and ways we can pray like Jesus, but he also demonstrates some sweet prayer poses.

 

Observe the Driscoll in his natural habitat.

With so many prayer poses to try out, it's a relief to know we are to prayer with out ceasing.

1 Thessalonians 5:16-18

Rejoice always, pray without ceasing, give thanks in all circumstances; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.

Titanic 3D's Company

A little over a week ago, the world found that James Cameron once more opened a door, a door which unleashed that cash grabbing epic film of yester-far Titanic. But this time it's bigger, it's weepier, it's 3Dier. In dishonour of the rerelease of Titanic, we thought we'd cash in on some google search results and risk Mark's street cred by superimposing him crashing Jack and Rose's creepy date at the bow of the ship. 

Cue the music.

Jesus Is Alive!

I know it's been on no one's everyone's mind what Marky D would look like if he found the Easter bunny.

Wonder.
No.
More.

Clearly it was in Chernobyl.

Fer Obvs reasons.

So while today in my imagination Mr Driscoll has found the Easter bunny, I am actually praying that many are being 'found' by Jesus in the Easter services preached at Mars Hill.

1 Peter 1:8-9 Though you have not seen him, you love him. Though you do not now see him, you believe in him and rejoice with joy that is inexpressible and filled with glory, obtaining the outcome of your faith, the salvation of your souls.

Good Friday

2 Corinthians 5:21

 God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.

Easter

Romans 6:8-11 Now if we died with Christ, we believe that we will also live with him. For we know that since Christ was raised from the dead, he cannot die again; death no longer has mastery over him. The death he died, he died to sin once for all; but the life he lives, he lives to God. In the same way, count yourselves dead to sin but alive to God in Christ Jesus.

What's the big Driscoll about Christ's resurrection?! It makes all the difference. 

Baby Mark?!

I know everyone is supposed to be a unique little snowflake, but my nephew looks like Mark Driscoll was either cloned or had a brief stint in asexuality, AMIRITE?!?!

Maybe you don't see the connection. Give me a minute...

So I guess I should somehow bring it back to a sermon or something....hmmm. Babies....Mark Driscoll...controversy...??? BIRTH CONTROL!

Imma Tell One Time (Nananananananananana)

Some things bear repeating and other things don't. Justin Bieber vowed to tell us One Time or 287,436,177 times. Sigh. (I will leave it to your imagination to decide if that was a sigh or resignation or fascination). >:]  But in the Bible it talks about the one unforgiveable sin. Heavy stuff. Not something you wanna repeat...which theologically cannot happen anyways, me thinks.

Here Marky D lays it out in a trendy lumberjack top.

And yes, that is a freakishly realistic booger paint shop pro'd onto The Biebs.

Fishers of Men

This little gem comes courtesy of my partner in crime. She's the visual talent in this side show.

I was kind of at a loss for words in how to bring this post round to having some sort of whit, play on words or painful joke. So I googled guitar fishing and all my problems were solved.

Yeah, at 57 seconds he does do a victory riff with a fish.

...

I am pretty sure the fish just couldn't stand the sound of his guitar playing and was committing suicide.

Too bad for the fish, it gets released back to it's Guritar Hero nightmare.  

So what does this have to do with Marky D? Well aside from the fact that Christ made His disciples fishers of men, not a whole lot, but Marky D 'casts a line' aka salvation message here.

RECEIVE POWER

Focus on the Family...or Don't.

Mark Driscoll is a family man. He loves his family. He loves the family of God. 

He loves photobombing family portraits. 

Okay, the last bit isn't scientific fact, but if I had a nickle for every time I saw Marky D squeak into a photo entry for Mormon Next Top Model Family, I'd have 5 cents.

 Ain't the kid in the grey sweater just the cah-utest?!?! <3

Real Marriage with the Same Spouse Factory

There is this idea out there that supposes that women think about chocolate more than ess-ee-ecks. (GASP!)

Well that isn't true.

(phew.)

In the first of several sermons purposed to bring a Biblical reality to marriages, Marky D shares with great humility and vulnerability his and Grace's marital testimony. 

Oompa Loompas not included. 

Actual Price of the Showcase is....

Sorry to keep you waiting with bated breath regarding the outcome of the showcase. Unfortunately, Marky D went 'over' and then overboard. He was none too happy to lose. This episode won't be airing. ;-) 

In case you are like me and thought, what the deuce does 'with bated breath' even mean? Wonder no more. 

Show Case Show Down.

I have heard Christians and non-Christians alike propose this question: if Jesus were alive today, would you follow him? I think most people would totally follow Jesus...on Twitter. Is that sacrilegious? Can you imagine if the price of discipleship was like an episode of The Price is Right? Only those who count the cost make it to the next level...the suspense! the flashing lights! the Miss America pageant rejects! 

Mark Driscoll you're the next contestant on The Price is Right! (Obviously! We all know wearing a t-shirt with a reference to the host doubles your chances of getting your name called).

Thankfully Jesus is not Bob Barker, and His commands do not include getting our pets spayed or  neutered. But Jesus was and is the Man-God. A contentious matter to many (although not the Bible) as Mark Driscoll discusses in this message from the Vintage Jesus series.

Luchador Marco 'El Jefe' Driscollo

So what do you do when you find 'men' using and abusing the women in their lives? 

Only the obvious. 

Marco Driscollo is all over it like me on a burrito. 

 A much needed rebuke is served when Pastor Marky D opens up a can of loco, effectively bringing the castida. 

I could write more, but honestly, it's a lot of work trying to find luchador vocabulary. See how it all pans out here (aqui).

ARRIVEDERCI

Two for Two-sday

This one is strictly for S & Gs:

The Gospel Accordion to Mark Driscoll

There is a pandemic devouring the hearts and minds of Christians everywhere: the prosperity gospel. Memorise the happy verses, rub the genie lamp of God, and bust out a 'Cockney walk'.

Good times will surely follow. IT IS YOUR RIGHT!

But what of Christ's suffering and crucifixion, Paul's persecutions, and the death (murders) of almost all of Jesus' disciples? Stick that in your prosperity pipe and smoke it!

In this life we will have trouble. But we are to consider it pure joy!  

Take this picture for example, is Marky D not afflicted with an accordion, and we are taking it as pure joy?

 I kid, I kid.

To hear more about the trials of life and the joy we can have listen here. Or if you are pressed for time here is the fast food version.

Before you go, all this talk of trials and suffering may have gotten you down, so here's a joke:

 What's the difference between a dead accordion player in the road and a dead squirrel in the road?
The squirrel was probably on his way to a gig.

This is About to Get HEAVY

There are guilty pleasures (this blog), then there are GUILTY PLEASURES (Twilight). Seems like you can't look anywhere these days without seeing vampire propaganda. Females of ALL ages have debased themselves with the Twilight 'Saga' (Team Edward...Team Jacob...Team Carlisle?!?!) Turns out Marky D ain't down with this and puts forward a strong case in this little Youtube clip. Vampire culture with it's 'immortality' is a pale (:P) excuse for the Resurrection of Christ.

In remixed news what the WHAT is this?

Keepin' it Holy

As it is the Sabbath (orrrrrr not if you hold to traditional Saturday observances) we decided to keep it holy. I don't know if Mark Driscoll would consider himself a Renaissance Man but after this post he'd be hard pressed to shake the label. After all he seamlessly slid into this improvement alteration of the famed Sistine Chapel depicting God bringing Adam to life. And speaking of life, we here at...this blog...are BIG FANS of life. We consider ourselves PROLIFE. If you want to hear some life changing truth listen up to this sermon on Birth Control. Bonus points if you find the still which inspired this masterpiece.

Avast! We got Ourselves a Castaway

There is a saying 'leave well enough alone' but we just disregarded that as an old wives tale. We are young wives. We decided that in a round about way we are pirating Mark Driscoll images for our creative pleasure. So why not make this next one a little more Rated Arr?! 

We give you Marrk Driscoll:

Mark Driscoll...choir director?

No, he is not directing the elegantly robed choir which doth behind him squat. He's just bringing the redemptive news of JC to the masses at this years Easter service (held in the Seattle Seahawks playground). My question is what happened to the tops of his two index fingers?! To hear the good news Jesus accomplished on the cross Czech it out here: Easter Sunday Sermon Slam

Switzerland

This is the face of a man who I love with the love of Christ. This is his neutral face. His Swiss. He also happens to make some pretty righteous (read with the cultural connotations of a Ninja Turtle) faces. This little blog is a side gig to my main act as wife and mama! I hold Mr Driscoll's teaching in high regard and this blog is not meant to be disrespectful but it came as a result of simple 'math':

I love Jesus. 

I love to listen to Marky D's sermons. 

I love the still shots when I pause the sermon video 'at just the right time'. 

I love to laugh and share.